I've had several conversations recently with people who are working harder than they ever have before and yet, they still feeling like they're failing.

Not people who have stopped caring or aren't putting in the effort. Quite the opposite. They're taking on more, working longer hours, trying to keep up with shifting expectations, and somehow ending their days feeling like they haven't accomplished enough.

What struck me wasn't just how overwhelmed they sounded. It was how quickly the conversation turned toward what they might be doing wrong.

Maybe they needed to manage their time better. Learn something new. Be more productive. Figure out how everyone else seemed to be keeping up.

I recognized that thinking immediately, because I've spent much of my career being the person who figures things out, too.

One Human Truth

There's a certain confidence that comes from being dependable. You know you can handle difficult situations, solve problems, and find a way forward when things aren't going according to plan.

Over time, that becomes part of how you see yourself.

But it can also make it incredibly difficult to recognize when the problem isn't entirely yours to solve.

When the work keeps expanding or the expectations keep changing, your instinct may be to work harder rather than question what you're being asked to accomplish.

And when working harder doesn't seem to help, you start questioning yourself.

I've seen how easily capable people can end up in that cycle, especially during periods of significant change.

One Insight

Something seems to be happening to the relationship between effort and accomplishment.

People are putting in more effort, but they're not necessarily feeling more successful.

Part of that may be because the definition of success is becoming harder to hold on to.

New technology creates new possibilities. Roles evolve. Expectations shift. And just when you've become good at something, you're being asked to rethink how it should be done altogether.

I'm a strong believer in growth and reinvention. I don't think we should hold on to familiar ways of working simply because they're comfortable.

But I also believe we need to recognize what constant change can do to someone's confidence.

When you've spent years building expertise, you develop a sense of what doing good work feels like. You know when your experience has made a difference.

When the work changes faster than those familiar measures of success can keep up, even meaningful progress can feel inadequate.

And if you're someone who takes pride in being capable, it's easy to assume the answer is more effort.

You work harder because you don't feel successful. You become more exhausted, which makes everything feel harder. And instead of questioning whether the expectations are reasonable or clear, you question your own ability.

Not knowing whether you've done enough is not the same as knowing you haven't.

Of course, sometimes we genuinely need to learn new skills, change our approach, or improve our performance. I don't believe every uncomfortable feeling is evidence that the expectations are unreasonable.

But we need to be able to tell the difference.

Because you can't keep measuring your worth against a finish line that nobody has clearly defined.

Your Anchor

Before you decide you need to do more this week, ask yourself:

What am I using to decide whether I've done enough?

Is it a meaningful outcome you've agreed to deliver? A clear expectation? Something you can actually measure?

Or is it simply the feeling that you should be doing more because there's always more you could do?

Choose one or two outcomes that would make this week successful. If you're not sure whether those are the right priorities, have the conversation rather than quietly taking on more.

You deserve to know what success looks like before you decide you're falling short.

🩵 What I'm Loving

I've been experimenting with Muse, the conversational AI personal assistant from Meta, to help manage some of the everyday mental load of running a crazy busy household.

Travel planning, shopping research, insurance questions, appointments, and all the little things that somehow end up taking more space in my head than they should.

The November 6 update to Muse introduced Spaces, and I've started organizing my household work across seven areas of our lives in “spaces”.

I'm still figuring out how well it can help me track open items and follow through, but I love the possibility of simply asking for help instead of creating another list for myself to manage and so far, so good. My muse, which I’ve named Maude is actually keeping track of all the things and doing a lot of them for me. 

I'm not trying to become more productive at managing everything but I'd like to stop being the person who has to remember everything in the first place and so far Maude is helping me get there.

Until Next Week

If you've been ending your days feeling like you haven't done enough, consider whether that feeling is telling you the whole story.

Maybe there's something you need to learn or do differently. Or maybe you've been holding yourself accountable to expectations that haven't been clearly defined, including some you've placed on yourself.

You can care deeply about doing excellent work without assuming every unfinished task is evidence that you're falling short.

Remember, you're still the author of what comes next.

Warmly,

Heather

Anchored in Possibility™ | The future belongs to those who know who they are when everything changes.