The one word that changes how you see yourself

Hey friend,

I almost didn't send this.

Not because I didn't have anything to say but because two weeks passed without a newsletter landing in your inbox, and I kept waiting for the right moment to come back. The one where I had everything wrapped up and the gap explained perfectly.

That moment doesn't exist, so I'm just showing up for you.

Before I get into this week's content I want to share that the publishing gap is intentional, well sort of - in the sense that I haven't automated this newsletter, I haven't outsourced it to AI, and I haven't scheduled it weeks in advance. When life gets in the way, you feel it here. That's how you know it's actually me writing this, pressing send, and thinking about you when I do. I am looking at updating my systems so that it's easier for me to publish from my phone on the road. 

Last week I was in Germany with my extended change & culture team, in a room full of people I hadn't seen in person in a long time and new faces that were just becoming familiar. It reminded me of something I want to bring to you today.

Most of us are really bad at remembering what we've already survived.

Not because we're forgetful but because we moved on. We got through the hard thing, filed it away, and kept going. We didn't stop to say, “that was real, that cost me something, and I did it anyway”.  

So when the next hard thing shows up, we measure ourselves by what we don't know yet. We forget to count what we've already proven to ourselves and to others. I’m totally guilty of this myself and I was reminded of it this past week. 

In Germany sitting in a room full of experienced change leaders, I watched people who have guided organizations through massive transformation over and over, be genuinely honest about feeling uncertain about the future with AI. And what got me wasn't the uncertainty that was felt in the room. It was that these are people with real evidence behind them of how to lead huge transformations, how to lead others through hard change and yet, they still weren't counting what they’ve already done, what they've already gone through and overcame.

My guess is that you probably do this too. 

There's research behind why this happens, and why evidence, not encouragement, is what actually fixes it.

The most powerful way to believe you can do something hard is to remind yourself that you've done something hard before. Not similar. Not easier. Hard.

A pep talk to your inner voice won't get you there. Counting and documenting your own evidence will.

Here's how to do it:

Think back five years. What required more from you than you thought you had to give? Write three things down, specific enough that someone else could picture them. Not "I handled a difficult job transition." Something like: "I left a role with no plan, two kids at home, and rebuilt from scratch in eight months."

Then read them back as if they happened to someone you admire. Even add that person’s name if it helps. 

Write down one word that describes the person who got through those three things you wrote down.

Keep that word somewhere close where you'll see it this week - that’s your power word.

🩵 One Thing I'm Loving

There was a moment on one of my last evenings in Germany when the agenda was finished and the work was done and a small group of us gathered - sitting around in comfortable chairs, music in the background, people sharing real life adventures and laughing and being human together. Learning with each other and the stories we tell was one of the best moments of my trip. 

No tool captures that. No efficiency gain replaces it. There was no AI sitting at the table with us, laughing in a shared experience. It was simply a very human moment. 

I came home this weekend a little more full than when I left. That's rare, and I'm carrying that feeling forward with me as long as I can. 

Well... that's your Change Anchor for this week.

If the evidence-counting exercise brings something up for you, I'd love to hear it. Reply and tell me the one word you wrote down, especially if it surprised you. Every time I do that exercise I am always taken aback by how easily I forget even my own experiences. 

I'll be back next Tuesday. 

Warmly, 

Heather

Anchored in Possibility™