What I Got Wrong About Getting My Boss's Attention (And What Actually Works)

Earlier this year, I sat with a colleague who was ready to quit. Let's call her Pam.

She'd been working so hard on a huge project. The kind that has you checking your email at midnight and drinking way too much coffee.

She was moving along and doing everything right, checking off all the boxes. Or at least, everything I used to think was right. And that's exactly why I was worried about her.

Fifteen years ago, I was Pam. Different office, same story. I thought being a great employee meant:

• Fixing every problem before my boss saw it
• Putting my head down, working hard and keeping quiet
• Hoping someone would notice how hard I was trying

Want to know where that got me? Exhausted and frustrated, wondering why no one saw all the work I was doing.

Let me share two simple things I've learned since then. They changed everything for me, and now they help other leaders get noticed for their hard work.

First: Don’t treat problems like your enemy - they should be your spotlight

What taught me this important lesson...

I was leading a huge, very important project and everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. The new system wasn't working right. The team was unhappy. And I was pretending everything was fine and that this was just normal roll-out issues that we would resolve. 

Every time my boss asked how things were going, I'd say "Great, I’ve got it under control!" while secretly panicking.

Then one evening, he found me in my office looking like I hadn't slept in days.

"Tell me what's really happening," he said.

So I did. I told him about all the problems. All the mess. All the things keeping me up at night.

Know what he said?

"Finally. You do realize that now I can actually help you."

That's when the lightbulb went off. By hiding the problems, I was hiding my value. The real way to show you're a leader isn't by making everything perfect. It's by showing how you handle the hard stuff.

Now I tell everyone I coach:

• Share problems early, before they start to escalate but bring your ideas too
• Talk about what you're learning from the tough stuff
• Use challenges to show how you think and adapt, not hide that you're struggling

Second: Show why your work matters

Anyone who worked with me early in my career can attest to the fact that I used to write the longest status updates about my projects. Pages and pages of details, thinking more information was better.

Want to know how many people actually read them? Zero.

I learned this the hard way in a meeting where my boss asked me about something that I'd written in three different reports but she was unaware of. My heart sank. All that time spent writing updates and no one had time to read them.

Then I learned something so simple, it changed everything:

"Stop telling them what you're doing. Tell them why it matters to them or the organization."

Here's what I mean:

Instead of saying: "I finished the project on time and under budget..."

I learned to say: "The changes we made saved each team member two hours every day. They're using that time to help more customers, and our satisfaction scores are up 15%."

See the difference?

The first one just says what I did. The second one shows how my work made things better for real people.

What happened next

Remember Pam, who was ready to quit?

We spent an hour talking about these two simple ideas of sharing problems earlier and showing why her work matters.

She texted me the next day and told me “ I just had the best meeting with my boss. For the first time, I feel like they actually understand what I'm doing."

Sometimes the smallest changes make the biggest difference.

What conversation do you need to have differently this week?

Drop me a note - I'd love to hear your story.