The container no longer fits. (That's not a crisis.)

Something shifted. Maybe it was sudden. Maybe it crept up on you. Either way, you can feel it. The container you've put yourself in - it no longer fits.

If you're reading this, you probably know exactly what I mean.

There was a point in my career that no matter how I repositioned myself,  or how I tried to stretch the role I was in and grow within the company I was at, the walls felt like they just kept shrinking.  I tried reframing how I talked to my stakeholders and to my leaders, I tried taking on extra work thinking that it would help people see me differently. I asked for greater visibility from my manager. I applied for other roles in the organization and talked to managers in other departments about where I wanted to take my career. I did all the things that I could think of and that were given to me as "career advice". And yet, I wasn't seeing any real movement forward. Don't get me wrong, I got raises (although small) and my feedback was always solid but it was almost like they wanted to keep me right where I was at because I was good in my role. It was easier that way because I was a steady, a constant that they could rely on. This was a trap that I found myself in.   

During that time I spent a lot of time thinking about what I could do better or how I could improve my performance to show that I was ready to move ahead. Then the realization hit me. It wasn't my performance, because I was good at my job - it was the fit. I could keep doing all the things I was doing and it still wouldn't change. There was no big bold move awaiting me in the container I was in.   

I observed it in myself all those years ago and I see it in the people I now work with. When you get to this inflection point, you have three choices. You shrink to fit the container your in and quietly lose yourself and your ambitions. You blow it up in frustration and lose the stability you needed in the first place. Or you get paralyzed in between, knowing something needs to change but unable to see a clear path forward. Most people find themselves in the third option right now and that's ok. 

The container not fitting isn't a signal that you've failed, it's actually a growth signal. It means you have outpaced the version of yourself that the current container was built for. The question isn't how to fix the container because trust me I tried and that's exhausting with minimal returns. The question is what do you want to build next. And that question which sounds terrifying is actually the most clarifying one you can ask yourself right now.

"If you stripped away your title, your company, and your LinkedIn headline... what would you say you actually do? And does that answer excite you or exhaust you?"

Hit reply and tell me which one you're feeing right now. I am genuinely curious to know and I read every response.

Warmly, 

Heather

P.S. If that question hit something real and you want to think it through with someone, I'm opening a limited number of 1:1 Ember Sessions in March. Reply to this email if you want details.